< A Little While Later >

When my sister came home, I had been prepared by the Little Critter books. The New Baby was the book on the topic, and I was pretty sure it was going to be fine. That is, until it happened and I wasn’t the baby anymore. I started pulling out my hair.

Much of the advice on bringing home a new sibling focuses on that first day … the introduction: let them smell each other through a door, do something pleasurable together … wait, that’s kittens.

The advice does focus on the intro, though: the gift from the baby, the special outing with the parent who isn’t currently attached to a newborn, the “big sibling” now.

Seldom do we cover the toddler who’s fine, no fuss at all, charming even, right up until day four, when reality sets in, a cup is the wrong colour and this is Not Okay. At this point, you think you’re in the clear; the intro went so well! They love being the Big Sibling! Only, they needed time to process this Big Change and now that the dust has settled and the visitors have gone back and it’s just your little foursome and they aren’t the center of it all anymore… well now it’s not awesome.

So, how do you keep your little one from literally pulling out their own hair? It’s highly dependent on the child, of course, but I find often a job helps. Involve them in the care and feeding of your new addition. Can they be in charge of holding the butt paste, of picking the clean jammies? Get them to stick out their fingers for the infant to grab on to: this one is a big hit and always gets me right in the chest.

If there’s a regression, and there sometimes is, to like “I’m the baby!” “I need a diaper too!” “I need milk!” indulge them a little: “You’re my baby, and you always will be. Do you need some snuggles?”, “We don’t have diapers in your size right now, but we can go get some at the store tomorrow.” (I promise you there are no 22 year olds still in diaps because their new baby sibling caused a permanent potty regression). “Let’s get you some milk, I’ll warm it up for you!”

The only real advice I have is not to argue with your newly promoted Big Sibling. Arguing with a toddler involves a lot of Insane Troll Logic because babies are Insane Trolls. No good comes of this. Agree, move on.